do you ever do that thing in class where you notice you’ve stopped paying attention so you try to focus but then you’re focused so hard on trying to focus that you’re still not paying attention to what they’re saying
Let it go, let it go
Can’t hold it back anymore
I’m never going back
The past is in the past
im gonna do that thing where u message someone randomly asking for ur sandals back ill keep u guys updated
oh my god
people are so nICE ABOUT THIS
things have taken a dramatic turn
dammit my cover is blown
PEOPLE ARE WAY TO NICE ABOUT MY NON EXISTENT SANDALS
IM HAVING THE TIME OF MY LIFE
a homeless guy just said to me “do you tell jokes to make people laugh or to make people think you’re funny” and that is the most profound shit ive ever experienced
A comic about my parents. The entirety of their relationship is mutual hatred of the human race.
ahhh you’re mom is so great thooo
this is so adorable
if a boy ever says “someone’s on their period” to u when ur angry that is literally code for “punch me in the balls” so don’t hesitate
as a boy i can tell you this translation is 100% accurate
actual scientific proof
One time I was masturbating in the shower and came so hard that I couldn’t keep in my scream but I knew my brother was in the bedroom next door and that he’d hear and know what I was doing so I quickly transitioned into singing the opening of the Lion King.
i have an unknown need to reblog this
This is going to be my most tumblr famous post.
I can feel it my lions.
I mean my loins.
deserves at least a sarcastic laugh. xp
this has been on my dash all day and I just got it now
Someone explain please?
shaving is actually really fun if you pretend all the individual hairs are people you don’t like and as you run the razor over them you are chopping off their heads and should i seek professional help i just realised how deranged that sounds